Tuesday 30 October 2012
Life in the very fast lane...: After a clanger of a bachelorette for my bride cou...
Life in the very fast lane...: After a clanger of a bachelorette for my bride cou...: After a clanger of a bachelorette for my bride cousin in September, the wedding took place this past Saturday and I fear it may take me ...
After a clanger of a bachelorette for my bride cousin in
September, the wedding took place this past Saturday and I fear it may take me
months to recover.
The whole event, from family and friends arriving a few days
before, to the post wedding hangover breakfast, was wonderful, superb, happy,
and all other positive adjectives that can be found in the Oxford Dictionary.
There are so many things to love about the venue of the
wedding - a beach resort my family has been frequenting since the time of
commute by ox wagon – I am not joking!
The vows took place under a secluded collection of Milk wood trees known
as “The Cathedral” – an apt name for the occasion. It was a sandy trip down the aisle, and the
bridesmaids and I were terrified as to how our stilettos would fare, and more
than that, how we would fare without landing flat on our freshly made up faces
in front of a large congregation. There
was only one thing to do – have a few glasses of Champagne to ensure any wobbles
would be eradicated, and post those precious bubbles, our walking abilities
were sure to be dead accurate. Mission
accomplished, we all made it, the bride included, without a loss of balance, face
or dignity.
The guests were varied and fascinating – we were all from
all over the world, from all walks of life, young, old, happy and happier. The M.C., my cousin, was so hysterically
funny that I think I developed a wrinkle immediately, otherwise known as a
laughter line. My uncle’s speech about
his daughter the bride was without question the most sincere wedding speech I
have ever heard – touching, emotional, honest, and to be remembered fondly
forever. My aunt, the mother of the
bride, looked like she had just stepped out of an advert in the September issue
of American Vogue – I will be forever envious.
And then the party started.
The Eastern Cape-ers are not known for holding back at a
party, and this, combined with my already wild family, led to an evening of
gigantic proportion. I have always been
proud of the fact that I do not drink shooters of any description, preferring
instead yet another glass of wine.
However, I seemed to lose track of my shooter brake on this evening, and
was last seen finishing off a bottle of coffee tequila with more enthusiasm
than a teenager heading off to her first school social. The effects on my body were both devastating
and intoxicating. The first effect is
that I truly believed I was on the set of “Dancing with the Stars” – where I
was the “star” and whoever dared to swing me around, well, they were definitely
the non-star. Of course, my choice of
dance partners were all most certainly more talented on the floor than I was,
but I would never have believed that at the time.
The bride and groom oozed happiness, and festive moods swept
over them too. It is fantastic to see a
bride with such a huge zest for life, and having an evening she will never
forget. My family jumped in with both
feet, and we certainly did not let each other down, at the bar, or otherwise.
The wedding cake got thrown (don’t ask), the garter and
bouquet were caught (luckily not by me), and the band played on… the farmers partied with great gusto, the
drinks flowed like water, the dance floor got pounded, the laughter was catchy,
the friendships were re-cemented and new friendships were made. In terms of weddings attended, this was an
excellent one.
And so the moral of this story: Hold onto your childhood friendships and
nurture them; be open to new friendships and nurture those too; enjoy your
family and trust in their integrity and their love of you and vice versa;
support your loved ones when they take a leap into marriage, and don’t,
whatever you do, finish the coffee tequila…
Sunday 14 October 2012
Life in the very fast lane...: I finally think I have found the greatest afflicti...
Life in the very fast lane...: I finally think I have found the greatest afflicti...: I finally think I have found the greatest affliction of current times - it is not global warming, it is not terrorism, it is not drugs, or a...
I finally think I have found the greatest affliction of current times - it is not global warming, it is not terrorism, it is not drugs, or alcohol, or rock 'n roll, it is the single woman.
It is completely staggering how, if you are single, you are an automatic worldwide threat.
There are marriages all over Southern Africa who fear us single girls; and, having quite a few friends in the same category as I am, we are a collective force to be reckoned with.
If you are single, you are definitely looking to destroy or run interference in another's marriage; if you are seen out and about with a good friend who happens to be male, you are definitely involved with him and most certainly you are spending time together way into the wee small hours of the morning. If you are seen out on the town with women on their own, then your sexuality is suddenly questioned, but worst of all, if you are seen out in a large crowd of men and women then there is complete mayhem, and utter confusion. And don't get me started on if you are a single mother... you must most certainly then be looking for the future father of your future children, whether you want more off-spring or not.
I am talking of course about society, and about how we are judged according to pure perception. It seems incomprehensible that you may be friends with a couple, without wanting to create a love triangle within their lives; it seems even more impossible that you are able to have male friends without there being anything sinister going on; and heaven forbid you are discovered home on a Friday night - you must certainly have snuck in a secret lover, 007 style. Move over Daniel Craig.
And so this has been not only my conclusion, but that of all my single friends, most of whom are single out of choice, and quite frankly prefer the simple life i.e. to not be in a relationship at present, for various reasons. We are not ruling out relationships forever, but certainly for now.
I have decided there is only one thing to do - I must be seen out with different people all of the time, and therefore, create such massive confusion out there that no-one knows if I am single, married, divorced, engaged, or lesbian. I think it sounds like a challenge worth pursuing, and one that I, and all my unattached friends, are looking forward to.
The moral: If at first you don't succeed in creating an accurate picture of what is really going on in your life, don't worry, because someone out there will be making up your story for you...
It is completely staggering how, if you are single, you are an automatic worldwide threat.
There are marriages all over Southern Africa who fear us single girls; and, having quite a few friends in the same category as I am, we are a collective force to be reckoned with.
If you are single, you are definitely looking to destroy or run interference in another's marriage; if you are seen out and about with a good friend who happens to be male, you are definitely involved with him and most certainly you are spending time together way into the wee small hours of the morning. If you are seen out on the town with women on their own, then your sexuality is suddenly questioned, but worst of all, if you are seen out in a large crowd of men and women then there is complete mayhem, and utter confusion. And don't get me started on if you are a single mother... you must most certainly then be looking for the future father of your future children, whether you want more off-spring or not.
I am talking of course about society, and about how we are judged according to pure perception. It seems incomprehensible that you may be friends with a couple, without wanting to create a love triangle within their lives; it seems even more impossible that you are able to have male friends without there being anything sinister going on; and heaven forbid you are discovered home on a Friday night - you must certainly have snuck in a secret lover, 007 style. Move over Daniel Craig.
And so this has been not only my conclusion, but that of all my single friends, most of whom are single out of choice, and quite frankly prefer the simple life i.e. to not be in a relationship at present, for various reasons. We are not ruling out relationships forever, but certainly for now.
I have decided there is only one thing to do - I must be seen out with different people all of the time, and therefore, create such massive confusion out there that no-one knows if I am single, married, divorced, engaged, or lesbian. I think it sounds like a challenge worth pursuing, and one that I, and all my unattached friends, are looking forward to.
The moral: If at first you don't succeed in creating an accurate picture of what is really going on in your life, don't worry, because someone out there will be making up your story for you...
Monday 1 October 2012
Life in the very fast lane...: I recently watched the movie "The Help" which had ...
Life in the very fast lane...: I recently watched the movie "The Help" which had ...: I recently watched the movie "The Help" which had me in fits of laughter at times, and at other times, I had tears literally streaming down ...
I recently watched the movie "The Help" which had me in fits of laughter at times, and at other times, I had tears literally streaming down my face at the raw emotion of it.
I was horrified in so many ways at how the helpers were treated by their employers. My heart almost broke when a little girl cried her eyes out when her nanny left her parent's employment, forever. It was a scene that was just too close to home.
My family has had our helper for more than twenty years now. When I had my baby, six and half years ago now, Rosie became my daughter's nanny. My daughter has always known Rosie as someone who is always around, a constant companion, loving, giving, and with an acute sense of humour.
Rosie, over time, has progressed in my life to that of close friend and confidante. She knows all the ins and outs of my life; knows my friends, and comes on holiday with me and my daughter. Rosie has more friends at the family beach resort we love than I do, and when we are there, her social life is far more prolific than mine is.
Watching the movie got me to thinking about how different my life would be if she were not around. Rosie always loves my new boyfriends (don't get me wrong, this hasn't happened for QUITE SOME TIME), and calls whoever it may be "a good man" when they first arrive on the scene, and once they leave, of their own accord or by mutual consent, or due to a decision I have made, then suddenly the sentence is different - "oh, the men, they are ALL the same!" Of course, at this stage of the courtship, I can only agree.
Rosie has a collection of wigs that would put Marilyn Monroe and Dolly Parton to shame. She is always brilliantly turned out, with a huge smile on her face and a story of sorts to tell.
In this changing and fast-paced world, it does seem so important to have that one constant in one's life. A non-judgemental person within your home, who just helps, chats, uplifts, and most importantly believes in you.
Don't get me wrong, we have had one fight, but Rosie's response to me was so unexpected, I have never fought with her again. The details of the argument are too boring to repeat, but, I was in the wrong, however, in the throes of my tantrum, she just looked at me and said very calmly "madam, you are CRAZY!" I started to laugh so hard, I forgave Rosie instantly, and the matter was behind us, forever.
And so, the moral: Be thankful for those angels in our homes who are friends, confidantes, who take care of our children, who are a constant support - both physically and from a friendship perspective. Post seeing that movie, I will never take Rosie for granted again, and I hope above all, that I will never give her cause to call me crazy, ever again.
I was horrified in so many ways at how the helpers were treated by their employers. My heart almost broke when a little girl cried her eyes out when her nanny left her parent's employment, forever. It was a scene that was just too close to home.
My family has had our helper for more than twenty years now. When I had my baby, six and half years ago now, Rosie became my daughter's nanny. My daughter has always known Rosie as someone who is always around, a constant companion, loving, giving, and with an acute sense of humour.
Rosie, over time, has progressed in my life to that of close friend and confidante. She knows all the ins and outs of my life; knows my friends, and comes on holiday with me and my daughter. Rosie has more friends at the family beach resort we love than I do, and when we are there, her social life is far more prolific than mine is.
Watching the movie got me to thinking about how different my life would be if she were not around. Rosie always loves my new boyfriends (don't get me wrong, this hasn't happened for QUITE SOME TIME), and calls whoever it may be "a good man" when they first arrive on the scene, and once they leave, of their own accord or by mutual consent, or due to a decision I have made, then suddenly the sentence is different - "oh, the men, they are ALL the same!" Of course, at this stage of the courtship, I can only agree.
Rosie has a collection of wigs that would put Marilyn Monroe and Dolly Parton to shame. She is always brilliantly turned out, with a huge smile on her face and a story of sorts to tell.
In this changing and fast-paced world, it does seem so important to have that one constant in one's life. A non-judgemental person within your home, who just helps, chats, uplifts, and most importantly believes in you.
Don't get me wrong, we have had one fight, but Rosie's response to me was so unexpected, I have never fought with her again. The details of the argument are too boring to repeat, but, I was in the wrong, however, in the throes of my tantrum, she just looked at me and said very calmly "madam, you are CRAZY!" I started to laugh so hard, I forgave Rosie instantly, and the matter was behind us, forever.
And so, the moral: Be thankful for those angels in our homes who are friends, confidantes, who take care of our children, who are a constant support - both physically and from a friendship perspective. Post seeing that movie, I will never take Rosie for granted again, and I hope above all, that I will never give her cause to call me crazy, ever again.
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