I finally think I have found the greatest affliction of current times - it is not global warming, it is not terrorism, it is not drugs, or alcohol, or rock 'n roll, it is the single woman.

It is completely staggering how, if you are single, you are an automatic worldwide threat. 

There are marriages all over Southern Africa who fear us single girls; and, having quite a few friends in the same category as I am, we are a collective force to be reckoned with.

If you are single, you are definitely looking to destroy or run interference in another's marriage; if you are seen out and about with a good friend who happens to be male, you are definitely involved with him and most certainly you are spending time together way into the wee small hours of the morning.  If you are seen out on the town with women on their own, then your sexuality is suddenly questioned, but worst of all, if you are seen out in a large crowd of men and women then there is complete mayhem, and utter confusion.  And don't get me started on if you are a single mother... you must most certainly then be looking for the future father of your future children, whether you want more off-spring or not.

I am talking of course about society, and about how we are judged according to pure perception.  It seems incomprehensible that you may be friends with a couple, without wanting to create a love triangle within their lives; it seems even more impossible that you are able to have male friends without there being anything sinister going on; and heaven forbid you are discovered home on a Friday night - you must certainly have snuck in a secret lover, 007 style.  Move over Daniel Craig.

And so this has been not only my conclusion, but that of all my single friends, most of whom are single out of choice, and quite frankly prefer the simple life i.e. to not be in a relationship at present, for various reasons.  We are not ruling out relationships forever, but certainly for now.

I have decided there is only one thing to do - I must be seen out with different people all of the time, and therefore, create such massive confusion out there that no-one knows if I am single, married, divorced, engaged, or lesbian.  I think it sounds like a challenge worth pursuing, and one that I, and all my unattached friends, are looking forward to.

The moral:  If at first you don't succeed in creating an accurate picture of what is really going on in your life, don't worry, because someone out there will be making up your story for you...