There definitely seem to be times in one’s life when you learn more than at other times.  It is common knowledge that my learning curve has been at ninety degrees in the last 365 days, and this is apparently continuing for now.

At the moment my lesson is “authenticity”.  I am faced almost daily with either people or circumstances in which I am forced to question authenticity.  I recall reading years ago about people who come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  I am fortunate to be on exceptional terms with my family members, so they go into the lifetime pot, whether they like it or not.  I am also in a fortunate position with a handful of long term close and very dear friends, so they too go into the lifetime category.  And then there are those who are part of a reason, and mostly, I understand the “why” either at the time, or if not, certainly afterwards (most of these are men I have dated – and probably their lives will never be the same again!!), and then… the clanger… the season.

One wonders why it is that we are “sent” people to feature in our lives, who are there for a period of time, and who you then choose to move on from once their true colours are either revealed, or yours are, and they don’t like what they find.  It is a two way highway for sure.

These individuals come into your sphere, become part of it, and then… they aren’t.  What I am finding is that I am becoming choosy.  Whether it is as a result of age, and therefore the ability to discern between those who have your best interests at heart, and those who don’t; or, it is just as a result of the “universe” sending you people who are not authentic, to test your ability to filter the good from the not so good.  If it is the latter, it does feel rather like being hit by a wet newspaper.
One must say however, that just because one chooses not to continue a friendship with someone who one feels is not authentic, does not mean that this person is not authentic to someone different, it just means they are not authentic in your life.  And that is perfectly okay.

And so, rather like a legavaan/rock monitor on the side of the road, that sheds its skin, so am I going through a process of “shedding”.  I am the first to acknowledge that I am being particularly particular at present, and I think that understandable in terms of a year of loss and now, a period of “rebuild”; however, I am also, for arguably the first time in my entire existence, being authentic to myself.  If I know, or discover, that someone does not absolutely have my very best interests at heart, then, with grace, it is time to move away.  No fights, no harsh words, dignity intact, but, to protect myself, a slow and steady move away, to what I know will be whiter waves and greener pastures.

The lesson therefore is an easy one:  value oneself, above all, and no matter how heart-wrenching it may be, remain true to yourself, and sieve out the sand from the gold.  Life just seems way too long to have anyone around who does not value you, appreciate you, and who wants only the very best for you.

Okay universe, lesson learnt.