I love the adage “healthy body, healthy mind”.  I have spent a lot of time and energy in the last three months getting to a point of “healthy mind” after my latest life changing experience, so the mind is there… but the body… not so much!

According to Kate Moss, "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". I think it is arguably the best quote I have ever heard.  At the moment, I find myself repeating it in my head, like my own personal mantra, at least one hundred times a day.

I am afraid the return to home cooking in Johannesburg has been detrimental to my waistline - or should I say - where there was once a waistline, there is now just, what they call a “muffin top”.

This is NOT a good look for someone newly single.

I am approaching the fabulous 40’s at a very fast rate, and while I can try and justify the “Botticelli body” in my mind, the reality is that the jeans are currently rather tight, and actually, it looks like I have jumped off the Empire State Building to get into them.  All this has crept up on me, but two weeks ago, I decided that enough was enough, and it was time to reel myself in.

And so, “diet 101” has been going on for eight long days now.  No carbs, no eating in between meals, not too much wine (this is the hardest part by a long way), not too much of anything really other than a lot of healthy food and positive affirmations on how I will look and how it will make me feel.

I traded in wine for water and bread for lettuce.  I think my body went into massive shock for the first seventy two hours, and it is still not completely sure whether to relax or not.  The answer is sadly, not.

Whilst I don’t have a huge fortune to lose, it is the difference between Botticelli and Heidi Klum, and potentially the difference between being out on the town on a Friday night, or staying in watching my phone for activity with as much energy as I spend on watching Downton Abbey every Sunday evening. 

Personally, the former option is more appealing.

And so it is back to the life of the salad.  I never knew until last week just how many different varieties of salad there are in this world, and I have arguably tried all of them of late.  I pretend I am űber excited to see that can of tuna and that tub of fat free cottage cheese, but the reality is that a bottle of wine, a fresh baguette and a hunk of brie would suit me far better.

I have decided to stay indoors socially until “diet 101” is complete.  Once the goal has been met, I plan to re-emerge with style, grace, and in my skinny jeans, and hope that most people almost faint from disbelief at just how slim I have become.

Boring?  Yes.  Worth it?  Absolutely.