Life in the very fast lane...: It feels like a mere breath ago that I was listeni...

Life in the very fast lane...: It feels like a mere breath ago that I was listeni...: It feels like a mere breath ago that I was listening to “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” from the inside of a beautiful stone church in Johan...

It feels like a mere breath ago that I was listening to “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” from the inside of a beautiful stone church in Johannesburg on Christmas Eve, following a dinner of “my cup runneth over” volumes of chilled white wine.  Since then, I survived, relatively simply, another uneventful Valentine’s Day, and now it seems we are racing towards Easter and the promise of a slight reprieve from the hustle and bustle of everyday frenetic life.

It is at these times, that one sits down to think about where one has been, or rather, where one is off to on this roller coaster commonly termed life.

I have, more times than I care to remember, been criticised for not falling into the conventional boxes of societal expectation.  I have pretty much broken every man-made rule thus far, and ones I have not broken, I have no doubt I will break at some point, with huge success.

One of my “escapes” in the quiet times is looking for quotes on Pinterest – mainly because I look for inspiration for my writing.  It seems I am often unable to come up with inspiration of my own, so I need help from other clever folk.  I found a saying which read “not all those who wander are lost” and it struck a chord with me immediately.

I was thinking about this, and pondering what to write, and how, when I decided to sit down, turn on the iPod and wish for inspiration.  The first song that played, quite by chance, was “I did it my way” by none other than Frank Sinatra.  Suddenly the second chord was struck.

I am a huge fan of individuals who possess a non-judgmental outlook towards life.  Very often, these individuals are, like me, free spirits, who like to wander, and not get tied down to conventional pressures and expectations - lovers of bigger picture, blue sky thinking.  When I hit the big 4-0, I made an active decision to stop judging myself with the same ferocious cruelty previously experienced, but rather, stop apologizing for who and what I am, and for having a mind and soul that likes to roam and wander, and in so doing, not get lost, but actually, be found.

And so it is that I find myself embarking on a multitude of career adventures that truly make me tick, and cater, quite literally, to my love of all things creative; and with that, comes an appreciation of all events that allow me to spend my days in cognitive freedom and blissful imagination.

You see, I am, like Frank Sinatra so aptly sang with that liquid gold voice, doing things my way, and I am too, wandering, but I am nowhere near lost.  I am steering by starlight, freedom, and a direct line straight to the ice, with a whole lot of white wine thrown liberally on top of it, in a cut crystal glass, of course.

So for all those who are lost, and all those who are found – my view is, if Frank Sinatra can do it his way, then so can we.

Life in the very fast lane...: As I have travelled along the cobbled road referre...

Life in the very fast lane...: As I have travelled along the cobbled road referre...: As I have travelled along the cobbled road referred to as “aspiring writer”, I have, most often, taken my inspiration from a quote I have re...

As I have travelled along the cobbled road referred to as “aspiring writer”, I have, most often, taken my inspiration from a quote I have read somewhere, at some time that appeals to my not-too-hot creative nerve. 

About a month ago, I read a quote of Nelson Mandela’s – “may your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears”.  I wrote it down and thought I would get back to it when the creative genie emerged from the now tarnished oil lamp again.  Of course, it goes without saying that our lives have now changed, and in the time since reading that and where we find ourselves today, there was no creative genie or genius anywhere to be found, and our Madiba is in another world to the one we are in.  I feel it even more appropriate now to write on this quote than ever before.

I have sat and thought about this quote so much.  How many decisions would I not have made had I made them in hope instead of fear?  Well, as a single gal in her 40’s, one could always start with relationships.  How many relationships do we enter into out of fear – fear of being left on the shelf?  Tick.  Fear of not having anyone around in the wee small dark hours of the night?  Tick.  Fear of being alone forever?  Tick.  Not travelling due to fear of lack of funds?  Tick.  Fear that robbers may arrive in the middle of the night so it is best to sleep in one’s make-up so as to look at one’s best should this happen?  Double tick.

Had I thought about this in my fun 20’s, I would have done things differently; had I thought about this in my dismal 30’s, I would most certainly have done things differently, now that I am thinking about this in my naughty 40’s, I am going to do things differently.

I am proud to say that I am no longer fearful of that shelf I have mentioned – I now realise I belong there, and it is actual prime real estate and my happy place.  Rather uncomplicated in fact.  I will somehow travel more, and not be (too) fearful of the consequences – I also now realise that the consequences of travel would not be so dire if I simply chose, for once, NOT to visit the Chanel store.

I think many of us watched the post-Madiba days on the television, and I think we all, rightly so, took our own part of him with us.  I would be bold enough to say that for each of us, what we learnt from him was different and as individual as our own thumb prints.  For me, even though I did not know his days were as numbered as they indeed were when I read that quote, I will take it on board, and give thought to it before I jump into my next big decision making process.  I understand that this, for me, intrinsically impulsive, is a big statement to make, but I will give it my very best effort.

And so, as this year that is 2013 draws to a close, and we move into the next year with a clean canvas and new brushes, l for one, will base my new chapter on hope, and no longer on fear.

Onwards and upwards.

Life in the very fast lane...: Latest published article from Inspire magazine.F...

Life in the very fast lane...: Latest published article from Inspire magazine.

F...: Latest published article from Inspire magazine. Finding your happy place When my daughter was born, her much-loved God-father gav...

Latest published article from Inspire magazine.

Finding your happy place

When my daughter was born, her much-loved God-father gave her an exquisite silver compass.  The gift arrived clothed in a velvet pouch, housed within a sturdy box, with a silver stamp explaining its Scottish heritage.  I remember clearly holding the object of beauty in my hand, and reading the engraving on the front cover – “The world is your oyster.  Enjoy life, and find your own true north”.

I was a new mother, experiencing all the emotions that arrive with that experience, and so, opening that gift and reading those words led to tears welling up in my tired eyes instantly.

Many years have come and gone since that event, yet I still remember that inscription, and from time to time, to remind myself of needing to find my own way, I take out the compass and hold it in my hands for a few minutes, attempting to focus on where my true north is, and remembering to take heed and not forget that each person is different, and whilst the earth has one true north, we as individuals all operate with our own manuals, our own compass, and our own emotional G.P.S.

Some people call it finding your happy place, which I guess it is, however, it is more to me, about finding your own true north.  At some point in our lives, we all need to come to an understanding of exactly what makes us tick.  In my experience, my life until the age of thirty was just one field of true north.  I was lucky enough to be surrounded by happiness, love, and an endless supply of one of my favourite pass-times… fun.  Life was a breeze, and then I turned thirty.

The decade from thirty to forty was more like a raw patch of south rather than a cool breeze from the north.  The fun was taken over by responsibility, motherhood, late nights, early mornings, a push to prove myself from a career perspective, a world more competitive than I could ever have imagined, and many personal losses which at times left me reeling.

Until responsibility set in, which was a shock to my system, life was one big cruise at the front of the ship.  I was Rose standing with my arms outstretched, with a delicious Leonardo DiCaprio behind me.  And then came the iceberg. 

The path that followed is not really one to be discussed, but I will say that I am grateful now for that iceberg – it humbled me, brought me back down to earth with a massive jolt and it forced me to look within for my happiness.  To date, probably my hardest yet most valuable lesson.

I would argue that I have read more self-help books than the average librarian; and as much as I at times sound like an iPod full of positive tunes and sayings, the research and self-analysis has, in hindsight, served me well.  Having crossed the bridge aptly named “pain, loss and suffering”, I am today almost at the other side of adversity, and I am too, firmly of the belief that what Aristotle said in his lifetime was true – “it is possible to fail in many ways...while to succeed is possible only in one way”.  One has to search, and search, and continue to search, until you find your own true north, your center, your port in the storm, the core of your being, which equates to your happy place.  When all else is stripped away from you, and you have only yourself to rely on, to fall back on, and to be with in the lonely moments, are you happy with the company you keep?  The destination may take a lifetime to find, but the journey is the part that is truly the experience to behold.

Life in the very fast lane...: The latest article for Inspire magazine. Anyonecan...

Life in the very fast lane...: The latest article for Inspire magazine. Anyonecan...: The latest article for Inspire magazine.   Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. I feel certain that each and ev...