As I have travelled along the cobbled road referred to as “aspiring writer”, I have, most often, taken my inspiration from a quote I have read somewhere, at some time that appeals to my not-too-hot creative nerve. 

About a month ago, I read a quote of Nelson Mandela’s – “may your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears”.  I wrote it down and thought I would get back to it when the creative genie emerged from the now tarnished oil lamp again.  Of course, it goes without saying that our lives have now changed, and in the time since reading that and where we find ourselves today, there was no creative genie or genius anywhere to be found, and our Madiba is in another world to the one we are in.  I feel it even more appropriate now to write on this quote than ever before.

I have sat and thought about this quote so much.  How many decisions would I not have made had I made them in hope instead of fear?  Well, as a single gal in her 40’s, one could always start with relationships.  How many relationships do we enter into out of fear – fear of being left on the shelf?  Tick.  Fear of not having anyone around in the wee small dark hours of the night?  Tick.  Fear of being alone forever?  Tick.  Not travelling due to fear of lack of funds?  Tick.  Fear that robbers may arrive in the middle of the night so it is best to sleep in one’s make-up so as to look at one’s best should this happen?  Double tick.

Had I thought about this in my fun 20’s, I would have done things differently; had I thought about this in my dismal 30’s, I would most certainly have done things differently, now that I am thinking about this in my naughty 40’s, I am going to do things differently.

I am proud to say that I am no longer fearful of that shelf I have mentioned – I now realise I belong there, and it is actual prime real estate and my happy place.  Rather uncomplicated in fact.  I will somehow travel more, and not be (too) fearful of the consequences – I also now realise that the consequences of travel would not be so dire if I simply chose, for once, NOT to visit the Chanel store.

I think many of us watched the post-Madiba days on the television, and I think we all, rightly so, took our own part of him with us.  I would be bold enough to say that for each of us, what we learnt from him was different and as individual as our own thumb prints.  For me, even though I did not know his days were as numbered as they indeed were when I read that quote, I will take it on board, and give thought to it before I jump into my next big decision making process.  I understand that this, for me, intrinsically impulsive, is a big statement to make, but I will give it my very best effort.

And so, as this year that is 2013 draws to a close, and we move into the next year with a clean canvas and new brushes, l for one, will base my new chapter on hope, and no longer on fear.

Onwards and upwards.