In my heydays, I was a runner.  I have never been in better physical and mental shape than those days.  Of course, if you had to take a glance at me now, you would realise that these heydays must have been quite some time ago. 

Whilst living in London, arguably the best time of my life to date, I went to watch the London marathon, and cheer on the disheveled runners as they screeched across the finish line.  And so, of course, it was with so much sadness that I heard, like everyone else, about the events at the Boston marathon, and I, like so many others, waited and watched the London marathon runners today, hoping that all would be well, which it was.

Of course sheer acts of fear-inducing behaviour appalls us all, so I won’t dwell on that, but it brought a thought to mind that I then sat and thought about over a glass of chilled sauvignon blanc.  It is this – that life can literally change in a heartbeat.  You can be cruising along in life, and the next thing, you are not. 

Life is as unpredictable as it is rich, as static as it is fluid, as devastating as it is rewarding.

The thing we all need to come to terms with, is that none of us knows the future, none of us know our own future, or that of our children, friends or family members.  This can be a good thing and a bad thing.  I have to say that if someone had told me two years ago what my last two years would be like, I think I would have crawled into a wine vat then and there and sipped away until I woke up two years later.  Rather like Sleeping Beauty, just not quite as pretty, and of course, no kiss of life at the end of the story by the handsome prince in the beautiful castle.  That is the good part of not knowing what the future has in store for us.

The bad part of course, is the part we probably spend more time thinking about – senseless loss of life, and with that, the loss of future opportunity, whatever that opportunity would have been for that now lifeless existence.

A very dear and great friend of mine died a few years ago in the most tragic of ways.  I make a point of visiting her grave as often as I can, and today made my way there to sit next to her grave and contemplate the myriad of personal challenges that face me at the moment, and have some quiet time.  Well, there is nothing like sitting in a graveyard to bring you back to an acute appreciation of life, challenges and all.

I read, as I have read so many times before, the wording on her grave stone – “time not spent with you is lost”.  How true and how very accurate.  In a world where we live, and we love, all we want to do is spend time, quality or other, with the individual(s) we love the most.  Yet often, through circumstances we are not placed to change, this is not possible.  I think it is this feeling of lost opportunity and lost time that leaves the sensitive types, like me, reeling, and wishing for a different outcome.

A very good European friend of mine ends all his e-mails to me with “Carpe diem!!!” – exactly like that.  He is wildly successful, and it is not surprising really with an attitude of “Seize the day!!!”   He seizes each and every day, and lives the success he so richly deserves.

As always, so many questions, so few answers, but one conclusion I feel I am able to live with is this:  Life may be long, it may be short, but whichever it is, it is unknown to us, and there is little we can do to change that.  So, note to self, stop wishing for things to be different, for changes to have already taken place, but rather, take whatever it is that is presented to you right now, in this moment, and focus only on the very bright silver lining that encapsulates each and every cloud, dark grey or not.